Self-Centred
Always suspected myself to be a self-centred individual. Never quite gotten round to getting it proven. I profess to be a good and loyal friend to most people, and I mean to be one who gives help whenever help is needed of me.
But still, I can't help but wonder ...
I have a family who says they love me unreservedly. But are they really what they seem? Sometimes I feel that their love is never really unconditional. There will always be a tug-of-war of sorts to trade their love for my attention. And sometimes, i feel like my mother wants to own me downright.
Why can life be simpler? With less strings attached?
Lately, my friends have been complaining about me. That I've been neglecting them. That I'm too preoccuppied by other friends. There is a certain truth in it, though. The reason is more likely because I've began to feel a sense of release and freedom, when I am not tied to any camp of people. Friends are precious and few. And it's never easy to tell them that, 'hey, I need to hang out with other people, because I'm getting bored,' or 'I'm not joining you today because I need to spend time on my own.'. Ironic....
Well ... again. Maybe I am self-centred.
But having lived under the shadows of others' expectations, I'm going to live my life the way I feel good about ...
But still, I can't help but wonder ...
I have a family who says they love me unreservedly. But are they really what they seem? Sometimes I feel that their love is never really unconditional. There will always be a tug-of-war of sorts to trade their love for my attention. And sometimes, i feel like my mother wants to own me downright.
Why can life be simpler? With less strings attached?
Lately, my friends have been complaining about me. That I've been neglecting them. That I'm too preoccuppied by other friends. There is a certain truth in it, though. The reason is more likely because I've began to feel a sense of release and freedom, when I am not tied to any camp of people. Friends are precious and few. And it's never easy to tell them that, 'hey, I need to hang out with other people, because I'm getting bored,' or 'I'm not joining you today because I need to spend time on my own.'. Ironic....
Well ... again. Maybe I am self-centred.
But having lived under the shadows of others' expectations, I'm going to live my life the way I feel good about ...
Comments
We still love you no matter what. Just need to give you a hard time about somethings SOME TIMES